Category: Humor

HOW Science Works

SCIENCE!

Scientists cut off the legs of a frog and then told it to Jump.

The frog did not jump.

Therefore, the scientists concluded that if you cut off the legs of a frog, it becomes deaf.

MORE: REBRANDING EVIL: Science is an Ancient, Pagan Religion

HAS the reader fallen for the clever, often-entertaining stories of science?

HAS the reader placed his faith in these cleverly-worded stories of man?

There is still time to repent, place your faith for the future entirely on Jesus Christ and enter the kingdom of heaven.

DOES the reader believe he is saved?

Make Your Calling and Election Sure: End Times Survival

DOES the reader believe he is NOT saved?

Time is Running Out: Today is the Day of Salvation

THE GOSPEL

“Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time. ”
–1 Corinthians 15:1-8

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.”
-–Romans 1:16

Tender Mercies of the Lord: Will Not Always Be Available

MORE

[Portions of this piece appeared originally in End Times Prophecy Headlines: October 25, 2016.]

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by Jeremiah Jameson
–with Mondo Frazier

images: ETPR file/pd

© Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report, 2012-15. © Mondo Frazier and End Times Prophecy Report, DBKP 2007-2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Link Disclaimer: inclusion of links to other blogs/websites is not necessarily an endorsement of all content posted in those blogs/websites.

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Comedy as a Propaganda Delivery System: Laughing in the New Year II

IT'S A JOKE:The mystery of iniquity's patented smokescreen.
IT’S A JOKE:The mystery of iniquity’s patented smokescreen.

PART ONE: Comedy as Propaganda Delivery: Laughing in the New Year

“On a recent worldwide math test, American teenagers ranked 25th out of 34 countries. When they heard this, American teens said, “Yea right, like there are 34 countries.”
–Conan (December 2010)

“Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner had to go to the hospital today because of a kidney stone. On the bright side, the stone was the first thing in months passed by a member of the Obama administration.”
–Jimmy Fallon (December 2010)

“Donald Trump denies that he’s pretending to run for president to gain publicity for his TV show. He says that anyone that says is this is clearly an “apprentice,” and they deserve to be fired on Thursday at 9:00.”
–Conan (March 2011)

“Nancy Pelosi is throwing a party to celebrate her time as speaker of the House. If you would like to get her a gift, she’s registered at Bed, Bath and Don’t Blame Me.”
–Jay Leno (November 2010)

“Fox News announced today that Glenn Beck will leave his show later this year. It’s nothing personal. He just wants to spend more time with the voices in his head.”
–Jimmy Fallon (April 2011)

“President Obama hosted Republican leaders for lunch at the White House. Obama had to do without salt, bread, pepper, and butter, but not for health reasons. The Republicans refused to pass anything.”
–Jay Leno (February 2011)

“The top things people give up for the new year are junk food, alcohol, smoking, and gambling. So basically, people are giving up on 7-Eleven.”
–Jay Leno (January 2011)

“Lindsay Lohan is out of rehab. Please don’t judge Lindsay Lohan until you’ve stumbled a mile in her shoes.”
–David Letterman (January 2011)

“In a survey of 35 cities, Los Angeles ranked second-to-last in intelligence. Residents of L.A. were outraged after the report was slowly explained to them.”
–Conan (November 2010)

“A Charlie Brown Christmas” was just on. According to a recent poll, most Americans think Charlie Brown is a Muslim.”
–David Letterman (December 2010)

“At the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, LG unveiled a line of appliances that can send text messages. Would you want appliances that can text you? You’re in a business meeting like, “Excuse me, I have to take this. It’s from my can opener.”
–Jay Leno (January 2011)

“A man in West Virginia was arrested for planting explosives in his yard to scare away cats. He was charged with three counts of being from West Virginia.”
–Jimmy Fallon (March 2011)

“Travelers can now get flu shots at JFK Airport. That’s good, because whenever I see how things are run at an airport, my first thought is, “These people should be in charge of more stuff.”
–Jimmy Fallon (November 2010)

“In Dallas, a warehouse full of energy drinks caught fire. Firefighters say the fire raged for five hours and then totally crashed.”
–Conan (February 2011)

DOES the reader let his guard down whenever he kicks back to be entertained?

THERE is still time to change direction (repent) and place one’s trust in Almighty God and His Son, Jesus Christ.

Time is Running Out: Today is the Day of Salvation

End Time Rising: Running out of Time

Make Your Calling and Election Sure: End Times Survival

THE GOSPEL

“Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand; By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain. For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time. ”
–1 Corinthians 15:1-8

“But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost:”
—2 Corinthians 4:3

[Portions of this piece originally appeared in End Times Prophecy Headlines: January 2-3, 2016 and End Times Prophecy Headlines: January 3-4, 2017.]

MORE

Marriages of Convenience: An Inside Joke

Comedians: Insanity, Torment and the Demonic

MORE: Rich, Celebrated and Possessed: The Deception of Possession

MORE: Hollywood, Image, Glamour, Illusion and the Occult

MORE

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by Jeremiah Jameson
–with Mondo Frazier

image: stockimages, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

© Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report, 2012-16. © Mondo Frazier and End Times Prophecy Report, DBKP 2007-2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Link Disclaimer: inclusion of links to other blogs/websites is not necessarily an endorsement of all content posted in those blogs/websites.

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Popular Eschatology and Cunningly Devised Fables: Coming Soon!

POPULAR ESCHATOLOGY and Cunningly Devised Fables: Coming Soon to ETPR!
POPULAR ESCHATOLOGY and Cunningly Devised Fables: Coming Soon to ETPR!

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by Jeremiah J. Jameson
–with Mondo Frazier

image: Pulp-O-Mizer/ETPR

© Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report, 2012-14. © Mondo Frazier, DBKP and End Times Prophecy Report, 2007-14. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Link Disclaimer: inclusion of links to other blogs/websites is not necessarily an endorsement of all content posted in those blogs/websites.

A Country Founded by Geniuses, Run by Idiots: How True?

Founded by Geniuses, Run by Fools
Founded by Geniuses? Run by Idiots, Fools? [image: ETPR]

Founded by Geniuses, Run by Idiots?

How True for the USA?

Received in the Email, a letter titled “A country founded by geniuses, run by idiots.”

But how true is the email?  First, the amusing content.

  • If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without  a license, but not for being in the country illegally … you might live in a  country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If you have to get your  parents’ permission to go on a field trip or take an aspirin in school, but not  to get an abortion … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run  by idiots.
  • If the only school curriculum allowed to explain how we got  here is evolution, but the government stops a $15 million construction project  to keep a rare spider from evolving to extinction … you might live in a  country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If you have to show  identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a  library book, but not to vote who runs the government … you might live in a  country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If the government wants to  ban stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines with more than ten  rounds, but gives 20 F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt … you  might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If, in the  largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not a 24-ounce soda because  24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat … you might live in a country  founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If an 80-year-old woman can be  stripped searched by the TSA but a woman in a hijab is only subject to having  her neck and head searched … you might live in a country founded by geniuses  but run by idiots.
  • If your government believes that the best way to  eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more … you might  live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If a seven year  old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher “cute,” but hosting a  sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable  … you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If  children are forcibly removed from parents who discipline them with spankings  while children of addicts are left in filth and drug infested “homes”… you  might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If hard  work and success are met with higher taxes and more government intrusion, while  not working is rewarded with EBT cards, WIC checks, Medicaid, subsidized  housing, and free cell phones … you might live in a country founded by  geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If the government’s plan for getting people  back to work is to incentivize NOT working with 99 weeks of Unemployment checks  and no requirement to prove they applied but can’t find work … you might live  in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If you pay your  mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big screen TV while your  neighbor buys iPhones, TV’s and new cars, and the government forgives his debt  when he defaults on his mortgage … you might live in a country founded by  geniuses but run by idiots.
  • If being stripped of the  ability to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government …  you might live in a country founded by geniuses but run by idiots.

Amusing, but true?

The email claimed that the above came from comedian, Jeff Foxworthy. That is not true, according to Foxworthy’s brother.

One further question might be asked: If the USA was “founded by geniuses,” why is the USA in the current shape it’s in after only 237 years?

Here’s a list of long-lived empires:

11 Portuguese – 534 years
10 Ottoman (Turkish) Empire – 623 years
9 Khmer Empire – 630 years
8 Ethiopian Empire – 665 years
7 Kanem Empire – 687 (approximate)

6 Holy Roman Empire – 844 years
5 Silla – 992 years
4 Republic of Venice – 1100 years
3 The Papal States – Territories under the direct sovereign rule of the Popes for 1260 years.
2 Kingdom of Kush – 1420 years

1 Roman/Eastern Roman Empire – 1480 years (This doesn’t include the 500 years that Rome was a Republic, or the various monarchies and assorted dictatorships.

Altogether, Rome persevered for about 2300 years–2800 if one includes the Vatican–still going strong!–which arose from the ruins of the Western Empire.

This may be the time to point out that the “genius” founders of the USA get plenty of credit when things went right–and none of the blame when things have gone wrong.

It was the genius founders who set up a system that gave nine unelected justices in Washington DC the right to decide what rights the citizens will be allowed, thus invalidating the constitution.

It was the genius founders who specifically set up separation of church and state–ensuring that the future USA would in no way become a Christian nation.

It was the genius founders who set up a system that is falling apart due to human greed. It’s assumed that all of the geniuses that founded the country were aware that humans are greedy?

Actually, one suspects the geniuses who designed the system got exactly what they planned. The system works exactly as it was meant to work; i.e., not very well after 200 or so years.

Still, parts of the email were amusing.

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by Jeremiah J. Jameson

© Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report, 2012-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

People’s NFL Nationalized to Promote ObamaCare

People’s NFL Nationalized, Sebelius to Direct

In a victory for the rights of workers and peasants of the USSA to receive proper State indoctrination while attending sporting events, the Department of Mandatory Health and Human Services has nationalized the National Football League and assumed control over its public activities.

Because sporting events are usually conducted in publicly-owned facilities and venues, either directly owned or within the infrastructure of a town that must cope with a stadium’s traffic and security needs, it is only natural that the State would eventually assume direct supervision of public sporting activities.

However, the attention given by so many of the Proletariat to televised sports makes absorption of sports events into State communication an absolute necessity in the proper education of the Masses.

Due to the slander of counter-revolutionary elements, the State’s implementation of compulsory voluntary healthcare has encountered many false impressions from citizens who have been led astray with lies. Comrade Commissarka of the DMHHS Kathleen Sebelius plans to direct the People’s NFL to help spread the truth about Socialized medicine.

Special half-time events will include Kanye West, who will rap about the joys of preventative medicine as subsidized by the Obamacare plan, while Beyoncé will also have her annual mammogram performed onstage to show citizens what benefits they will receive through Obamacare. Cheerleaders are also being re-equipped with new uniforms based on hospital scrubs, but matching their team’s colors.

Comrades, spectator sports are a political activity! Loyal citizens will heed the call of the People’s NFL and participate in Obamacare!

– Read more at The People’s Cube: People’s NFL Nationalized, Sebelius to Direct

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posted by Jeremiah J. Jameson
–from an email received by Mondo Frazier

PRISM: Thank You Sire, May We Have More Surveillance?

Surveillance-PRISM
PRISM: Demand total surveillance NOW!

Proletarian Review of Information in Social Media – PRISM

Dear Comrades,

The Federal Bureau of Investigation of the Department of Social Justice, in cooperation with the National Security Agency, is proud to announce its new program, the Proletarian Review of Information in Social Media (PRISM).

Developed by the State in its efforts to centralize the management of citizen data and collectivize all individual information into an easy-to-access and record format, PRISM now downloads and sorts all citizen electronic communication from a variety of sources, including (but not limited to) Microsoft, Yahoo, Google, Facebook, PalTalk, AOL, Skype, YouTube, and Apple iCloud.

On behalf of the workers and peasants of the USSA, PRISM collects data on potential counter-revolutionary activities while the reactionaries are still typing! This information can then be used by State security officials to not only identify potential saboteurs and terrorists, but also identify their nefarious plans and prevent them from undermining the safety and security of USSA citizens.

MORE AT: Proletarian Review of Information in Social Media – PRISM

The People’s Cube

What won’t they do in the name of National Security?

Ain’t life grand in the “Land of the Free?”

Do you know Jesus?

 

The seal of the U.S. National Security Agency....
The seal of the U.S. National Security Agency. The first use was in September 1966, replacing an older seal which was used briefly. For more information, see here and here. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

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posted by Jeremiah J. Jameson
–from information contained in an email to Mondo Frazier

© Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report, 2012-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

U.S. Financial Industry to Replace Dollars with Food Stamps

BREAKING: PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

U.S. financial industry to replace dollars with food stamps.
Because they Care: U.S. Financial industry to replace dollars with food stamps.

US Financial Industry to Replace Dollar with Food Stamps

Food stamps for dollars
Mr. Moneybags: Dollars for food stamps; Food stamps for dollars!

As experts ponder the implications of America’s stepping-back from world political leadership, finance professionals are openly discussing what the world will be like without the US dollar as the primary unit of international and domestic trade. In the meantime, American businesses are considering the benefits of a new economy based on food stamps.

“While the dollar’s future is glum, the food stamp is on its ascendency,” said Melanie Carnegie, a senior financial analyst at the non-partisan Cloward-Piven Strategy Institute in Washington, DC. “We at Cloward-Piven are actively working with big corporations, such as J.P. Morgan and Xerox, to get them into Food Stamp distribution programs. We also assist them in lobbying Washington politicians to qualify all citizens for food stamps as a replacement for dollars in terms of purchases and even savings.”

Barack Obama: The Food stamp president
Barack Obama: the food stamp president!

Barack Obama: The Food Stamp President

According to Carnegie, the number of food stamp recipients in the last three years increased by over 15 million and now represents well over 10% of US households. “More and more people are becoming comfortable with food stamps, and soon I think the public will be willing to give up cash in favor of the EBT card,” she said. “This is the change we’ve been waiting for.”

The change is obvious: once relegated to the poor and stigmatized, the Food Stamp is not just becoming more accepted, it is looking very lucrative for many US businesses struggling with a slow recovery and a large pool of potential customers sidelined from the market by unemployment.

MORE AT: US Financial Industry to Replace Dollar with Food Stamps

From The People’s Cube

IN THE NEAR FUTURE

Aer773
Aer773 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What’s sad is that very soon, most people will desperately need assistance.  Many of these people will be formerly well-off, middle-class Americans who have been wiped out by the criminal classes now operating in Washington DC.

Tragically, at a time when ex-middle class Americans could use some help, the government’s ceaseless fountain of benefits for the indigent will no longer be flowing.  Those Americans will suffer and have to look somewhere other than the government for help.

Do you know Jesus?

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Near Bakersfield, California. Applicants for s...
Near Bakersfield, California. Applicants for surplus food stamp grants by Farm Security Administrati . . . – NARA – 522181 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

posted by Jeremiah J. Jameson
–from information contained in an email to Mondo Frazier

© Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report, 2012-13. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Jeremiah J. Jameson and End Times Prophecy Report with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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